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(It was super cloudy and dim when I took these so they aren't that great.  we had weeks and weeks of sun and now it's just cloudy again!)


Sam is so fun at 4 months! He's doubled in weight and grown half a foot since he was born. He is mostly all smiles, coos, gurgles and laughs. And sometimes he just loves to hear himself squawk. (as do we.) He is reaching for things and putting them in his mouth and is just so much fun to play with. And if you get too close he will start eating your face, your leg or your arm. He's not picky.

faithful, finally beaten*

After five years of heavy use, my computer has, it seemed, finally given up the good fight. Last week after I was using it for awhile it started getting weird pixel dots all over and over the course of many days, would start doing that immediately after restarting and the whole computer freezes and is useless. So everything is there (I did get in a last backup on my external hard drive) but my computer is just dying. I've replaced the battery, charger and upgraded the OS once already.

I think I would be more sad if not for the fact that it's so old (and I hate to think that 6 years is old for a computer) it can't run the updated versions of web browsers (I mean, really?). And I've wanted to upgrade the OS but Dave think that it won't make a difference; it will take so much to run the new OS that it will be new but still super slow. Basically at this point we are just waiting for both of our laptops to die and then we would buy a new computer.

And the worst part (1st world problem right here) is that now if I want to use a computer, I have to use Dave's PC which is just as old (at least) and has a whole host of its own problems. (plus I really, really prefer the mac OS) But at least it works, right? I use my phone for most of my internet "needs" but sometimes a computer is just better.

And it will probably take us another 495 years to agree on a computer to buy. (me: mac//him: pc).

Anyway, I've lugged that computer all over the place and it's done so much for me and I hate to say goodbye. It's a little insane how fast the technology world moves and I knew I couldn't keep my laptop forever, but I'm a little sad about it.

p.s. from what I've gathered my graphics card needs to be replaced. I haven't even bothered looking into how much that would be to replace or if it's possible or even worth it. So it may be able to come back from the dead but at this point...I don't know.

Anyone have any experiences with dead graphic cards? Or have a computer they love and would recommend?

Thanks for reading a whole post of me lamenting and paying tribute to my laptop. I'm not sure any of this really needed to be written but...here we are.

*line from harry potter 3/grim defeat. nerd alert. 

pictures of said park outing

We've spent a few afternoons at our little patch of grass over the last few weeks. We don't stay for that long and I'm always worried a huge dog is going to come and trample us, but it's a nice little park for us. I felt like such a weirdo taking selfies (ugh, that word) with a baby because it's like you're not taking a picture of yourself because there is someone else there, but really, the other person is a baby, so yeah, you are just taking pictures of yourself.

I also wasn't sure what to do in the picture. Smiling normally felt weird because, well, see above. Since he wasn't super happy, I couldn't get him to smile with me. Most of the pictures I took make me look creepy...but I finally got one with my halfsmile that's like "oh, we're just hanging out in the park and this picture happened to be snapped."

Or something. I don't know.

may & library book hogging.

sam in his star wars day onesie...THREE MONTHS AGO.

May in Portland has been so great. Sunny and hot (almost too hot: portland weather has spoiled me). We've spent a few afternoons at a park (read: patch of grass) half a block away and it's been really nice. 

I started a class at portland community college about a month ago. I'm working on prereqs for a nursing program. I'm still not 100% certain what I want to do or what I feel is best for me to do, but I have enjoyed the class so far and if it's the only one I take, I'm glad for the review of biology, one of my favorite subjects. 

I've also been working on my stack of library books. I have a terrible habit of checking out too many at once, not starting them until they are due that week, and then renewing them until they won't let me anymore. For example, I had a book checked out last..fall? I can't even remember but I had to turn it in the day after Christmas. So most of Christmas eve and Christmas I read and read and read. (it's 400+ pages of atomic chemistry/physics. It's not dry, but not light!). I made it half-way through, turned it in and then placed it on hold. I didn't get it until February or so and...I still have it and have maybe read 10 more pages. !! 

I mean, I even tried motivating myself to get back into it by not renewing it and knowing I was accumulating a fine...at the end of the week I hadn't made significant progress so I renewed it. I mean, if no one else wants it...I guess I'll keep it all year! 

No, just kidding. Dave said to me, "I think you just want to have read it, but don't want to finish reading it." That is partially true, but I plan on turning it in at the end of the current 3-week checkout and if I don't finish it, well, maybe I will try again next year? 

I remember in sixth grade when the fourth harry potter book came out and I kept it for weeks, reading and re-reading it (nerd) until my mom found out and made me take it back so other kids could have a chance.

Am I the only one that has done this?

on opinions and the word should.

The thoughts for this post surfaced around 4:00 am, so hopefully it turns out as good as it started in my head. Yesterday I finished a sewing project and I showed Dave and asked if he liked it. He, predictably, was like "sure. it's a skirt. how do you have opinions on so many things?" And I think that is a good question.

I'm wanting to make a quilt for sam. I was going to before he was born and the decided not to...and then saw this one and decided to make one. I'm in the process of decided the colors to use (black, white, striped and three shades of blue/teal). I'm looking online and have spent three days going back and forth because I can't find colors that are ombre-ish enough or blah blah blah. I can find the darker shade and lighter shade but not a good middle one. I probably need to go into a store but thought I would try online first.

I have also asked Dave his opinion on the colors which I knew was laughable. I've mentioned before that Dave cares about almost nothing that isn't alive, so I don't know why I try to wrangle opinions out of him. I've also written before about my indecisiveness, and last night I was thinking about where that came from. Why is it so hard to pick three colors (or even decide on a final color scheme?) It's not the last quilt I'll make (or maybe it is, I don't know if I like quilting yet). It's certainly not the last yard of fabric I will buy nor the last of anything.

I think back to my childhood/adolescence and I honestly can't remember being so indecisive. Maybe I just didn't have to decide that much. Sure, there were a few hard decisions but day to day, I guess not much worth noting. Then I went to college and got married and it's like...where did all these opinions come from?

I often ask Dave "what should I do/make/buy/wear..." and he always tells me I shouldn't do anything, meaning it isn't important enough to be a should. But I can't think of a way to phrase my questions with language that isn't implying it's important (because yes, it's usually not that important).

And I don't mean to sound like Dave is a robot who never is interested in anything. When it really counts, he is a great sounding board and decision-maker helper (?). But I usually ruin it by over-thinking. Ah, there is the problem. I became this over-thinker who often can't make a simple, non-binding and not-the-end-of-the-world decision without help.

I was thinking last night that it's probably in part because of the internet. I mean, we see so many things that we want and can use. (hello, pinterest) I mean, I'm looking up on google if there is a best kind of cotton brand for quilting, although I have to say the results were not helpful. But reviews exist for everything and I, at least, usually base some purchases on reviews. And even when they have 4/5 stars, I'm wondering if I will get the dud of a product that produced the 2 star review. I've kind of become dependent on deciding some things based on what other people think.

Last week I went to a fabric store to look for a striped fabric for this quilt. I saw one that immediately caught my eye, but continued to browse the store (I want all the fabric). But I did end up getting that first fabric I liked. I continue to find that my gut decisions are what I should do or should have done in the first place (and there is that should again, implying importance.). Maybe ought is the word I should use? What ought I to do/make/buy/wear...? Or maybe it should just be "I want to do/make/buy/wear..." and that is that?

What do you think? Are you an over-thinker or are you really good at deciding things?

aimee finally comes to visit!

 

I've been meaning to post this all week, but it turns out today is as good as any day to do it because it's Aimee's birthday today. WOOT WOOT. She hates get older but I think it's pretty fun. Aimee flew out for Sam's blessing which was awesome. She hasn't been up to Portland or met Sam yet, so we all felt this was a priority! He may not look too thrilled up there, but he had fun. Aimee and Sam hung out and I had extra time to do little things. win-win. We both also really like to go grocery shopping and spent way too long at trader joe's wandering around. 

She had some bad luck as far as the food she wanted to try: one cart was closed and the other was closed for an hour and a half right when we got there...so we walked down to the waterfront and I waited in the voodoo donuts line (an hour? not sure it's ever worth the wait but oh well) while she checked it out. Then we snagged some koi fushion on the way back and the day was kind of a success, besides the part where she almost starved to death. She did get some salt and straw ice cream so that was definitely worth coming here, I hope.

Then on Sunday we went to Council Crest where you can see Mount St. Helen and Mount Hood and all of Portland. It's a great view on a clear day. This is me channeling jack donaghy (WATCH THIS CLIP) as Aimee didn't know what to do with her hands. A nice candid moment.

Hopefully she'll be able to come visit again soon because we loved having her here!

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Sam keeps us laughing with his funny expressions and reactions, excited leg kicks and how he copies us when we stick out our tongues. He also doesn't mind getting spit on a lot as that always get smile out of him so...we always do it.

This past weekend was windy, delicious (koi fushion) and musical (bagpipers (?!) by the soccer stadium we live by). Oh, portland.