Strange Love

There are a couple things I've noticed over the past week...and a few things that I've known for a long time. I kind of have some weird habits/tendencies. I'm sure everyone does...but it's kind of funny to think about.

For example:

I always (when possible) turn the faucet on when I'm using the restroom. Always. Retarded, I know. I use cups and paper towels like oxygen. My backpack is a freaking black hole...flashcards...wrappers (half pieces of gum and granola bars)...pencils...etc., and I don't even care. If I need it, I'll go look for it. I think I am reverting to some of my kid habits...recently I don't like eating my crust. I have such a hard time being around small obnoxious noises...(for instance...a girl in the BNSN had the hiccups. After 2 minutes of silently willing her to get a drink, I went upstairs. How stupid is that?). It takes me an obscene amount of time to eat a container of yogurt, probably because I never eat anything with my front teeth anymore. And I hate my hair length. It is so awkward...but I don't want to cut it again because I'm "growing it out". I will, at whatever sacrifice necessary (okay, okay...I do make exceptions...) watch scrubs at 10 and 10:30.

I finally got a 100% on a test...and I'm on a roll in pdbio and accounting quizes (three and fives, respectively). This week was so....and I mean SO... much better than last week, with one exception. Whoo!!

And now I get to go to ikea, the place where I know I will never find an apartment to look like their model one...but I can dream. And oh how I dream.

Additions: I tend to get excited about someone and tell whatever it is that I'm excited about...such as what I plan on writing in my blog (I apologize...) or what I learned in PDBIO that day...and tell a bunch of people and sometimes they overlap. (Mostly I apologize to Katie, Kristin, my madre, and Dave). I tend to talk a lot...especially when I get on a roll. I love shortcuts, even if they are, in fact, long cuts. My definition of a short cut: anything that keeps me warm. So sometimes, I have to leave a couple minutes early to walk through every building on the way to the testing center. Not exactly....and call me a wuss, but I don't really care. Because I stay warm, and I am a master at real shortcuts...as in...they actually work. Whoo! I also have a strange affinity for cute vases. I bought two today (they were together 1.49 plus tax) to join the other one I have. What is in them, you might ask? Oh, nothing. They are just cute. Yes, yes, I admit....I fall into the typical girl stereotype where things that are little I think are cute.

I also name things. My computer=suri...my bambo plant=curry (see, suri and curry rhyme and both sound foreign)....and my phone=pico. How cute.

Oh, somewhat exciting news: I finally got a temple worker to believe the size of jumpsuit I needed. I have found that medium long is best so I can have the longness of a medium and the longness of a long....because I think they are made for shorter people...or average girls. Most of the time they shake their heads with a cute smile and give me a regular or a small regular. And of course I don't argue but I feel self conscience in my really short pants. Except, most people's are too short. And it's the temple. So I don't. Ha ha...gotta love those cute old people.

Over Thinking.

Do I just want this because I can't think of anything else? Or is what I think will help me make the most difference? Will it open the most doors and help me feel at peace? Can I actually do it? Am I qualified...and would I be good at it? Am I smart enough, strong enough, fast enough, and hard working enough? Am I competent, confident and compassionate? Will I be able to make it? Will I have some help from above or am I doing this blindly? What the heck am I so worried for? Have I worked hard enough? Have I given enough or not nearly enough? Could I look him in the eye and tell him I am essential? Have I wasted away too much time? Do I deserve this? Do I have a back up plan? Can I say that I really want this and that I need it? Is this IT?! Is this what I am meant to do? Called to do? Prepared to do? Is this something I can do, and do well? Do I know what I'm getting into? Is this settling? Have I given up other dreams enough to actually get something I want?

Or am I making this all up?

Welcome to my thoughts. It will be a long ride.

Red Light.


I could be wrong (it happens sometimes...but not when skateboarders are involved...) BUT this signal USUALLY means that pedestrians have the right of way and you don't need to inch your way towards them while they are enjoying their walking across the crosswalk just to make sure you get to turn right or left before the street explodes.

And this...



this USUALLY means (again, I could be wrong...) that you don't START through the intersection. I don't know. Just an idea.

Obnoxious drivers in Utah.

(note: I don't think they are obnoxious because they are drivers from Utah. I think they are obnoxious because they are driving like a moron and HAPPEN to be in Utah. It isn't the state's fault...)

Lucky You

I feel a tad guilty saying these inner feelings of my heart...but...I think it's for the better good. Or something. So you meet a girl who is applying for nursing. You start talking and bash on chemistry and how the application is intense and blah blah blah...then you part ways. Well, usually...one of you says "good luck" and then the other says "yeah...you too!" Guess what though? No one really means it. I mean, sure I want you to succeed, I do. But not at my expense. As Darwinian (I might have made that word up, I'm not sure) as that sounds, it sure is true. And wishing you luck in means that if I hope you get in, there is a smaller chance that I actually will. Meh. I'm horrible. But when your major program accepts 50-60 percent of applicants, I do not want to be the 40-50 percent left out. Especially when some of these girls wake up one day and say "I think today I want to be a nurse...so I'll apply. If I get in...awesome. If I don't...it's okay" What?! Either you apply because that's all you want or you just don't apply, because in such a competitive program...you need to want it. And want it I most certainly do....except I didn't really think about this....three years of having girls shove tubes down my nose into my stomach and getting shots in odd places and having examinations of who knows what....doesn't sound like a party. But it's worth it.

Ah well, life could be worse. It is one of the semesters where they're taking more than they usually do. With that rant behind me...I shall move on and write a fantastic essay or two...and focus on getting in, not "what if I don't".


When spring is coming up, I get an undeniable craving for new shoes. I love new shoes.





Run It.

List A
Here is a list of things I think are interesting:
1. Politics
2. The human body and how it works
3. Historical fiction
4. Music/musical instruments...especially guitar chords
5. Other countries and languages

List B
Things I DO NOT think are interesting:
1. Stupid people
2. Golf and Fishing (especially on TV)
3. Humanities
4. Startrek reruns ( I don't actually watch these...ha ha thanks Katie)
5. Running a mile and a half just to see how fast you can do it.

Okay, bear with me...and try to keep up. So today I had my favorite class ever, aerobics. (Yep, that is sarcasm). I just love working out to a remix of Rico Iglesias's (yes, I know his real name is Enrique) "Hero" (so that makes it 29 minutes long instead of 4)....while doing a ridiculous combo of step aerobics. If I would have had to hear the retarded phrase "Mambo Combo" one more FREAKING time, I was going to scream. (Oh but it rhymes...)

Anyway, the teacher has an announcement that for some reason I still don't know, we don't have that class on Tuesday because of some block schedule thing...well, whatever...I'm not complaining. But this, this is what I will complain about. Our teacher wants us instead to run a mile and a half or walk fast for three miles and record our score....why? Oh, no, not for a grade. Not even one measly point (like many of my humanities assignments...but don't get me started on that...). So why, you might ask? Oh because. It will be interesting to see our times. Duh. (see lists A & B).

WHAT?! It will take a major guilt complex Monday/Tuesday night to get me to run because there is no way in HE double that I would run a mile and a half JUST to see how I rank. Sure, I'll run for a fitness log, or because I will get a grade...I'll do it to be honest about an assignment...but I am dead serious, I want to look up what my age/height/weight should be and add a minute or two....and say yep...that sure is interesting, I'm right around where I should be.

And I also think that today and yesterday were "lets see how many people can irritate Amanda while she walks somewhere...or does her job" days

And congratulations...the results were record breaking.




Another One Bites The Dust

Don't worry (mom, seriously, there is nothing to worry about...), that song is just what my CPR instructer said was a song with a perfect beat to perform CPR to....um...lets forget the insane irony of this, and work on finding another song that I could have someone sing while I do CPR. In a non morbid way, I think it would be very cool (but not cool for the person unconscious...) to peform CPR for real. I assume that going into the medical field, I will probably get the chance. If not, Mike said he'd pretend to be unconscious so I'd do CPR, though he does a terrible impression of someone choking. I suppose I owe thanks to the Young Women's program for the ease that CPR comes to me. Every darn year for 6 years. And now, I have a card to prove it.

I also would like my dad to know that while he cannot be here to meet Dave everytime he comes over, Noah has taken over that responsibility. I am sure Dave was pretty nervous when he heard Noah clear his throat very loud before he answered the door to act all nonchalant and very intimidating. Noah tried very hard to get Dave either caught in his words or have him fumbling for words. Luckily, David was a good sport. And Noah was very proud of himself...so dad, don't you worry; Noah, as my pretend fiance, is taking the responsibility very seriously. Thank you Noah.

The Mac version of the accounting program is up and running....(the phrase "about frickin time" comes to mind...)and I never thought a piece of news about computer software would make me so happy I could have kissed someone, but then again, I never imagined I'd have a conversation with a girl in the grocery line about the brand of bread we both were buying that is, in fact, amazing. I am the most indecisive person, especially when in comes to shopping. All I wanted to was a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, but I was out of bread...and then never bought any jelly. (Thanks Katie).

I love my new glasses, and I love opening new jars of things...like salsa. I am currently obsessed with four songs, sleeping, and telling everyone how parts of their brain work. (That test will be over tonight....so bear with me). I hiked the Y on Monday...and can now cross that off my list of things to do while I'm young. Ha. What's left? Oh you know, things like bungee jump, sky dive....I love a good rush.
K bob and I are really cool.

Chocolate

I told her that I took an aerobics class (to eliminate guilt) and I walk really fast most of the time (and that has nothing to do with staying in shape. I am just a fast walker).


"Exercise, eat right, die anyway."


I do try, but I'm definitely not a health/exercise fanatic. I'd rather watch tv than do a work out any day. Except if it's something fun. I admire Suzy for not eating sugar for lack of self control. Which is super ironic, but she's just amazing. Few things would motivate me to do that.

Also, I might as well just say it. People are so stupid. And we'll just leave it at that until another day when I go on that rant.

The Anatomy of the Tongue in Cheek

I really like my PDBIO class....it's amazing to learn what your body really does and what it looks like. On that note, I would highly recommend this video. It is so incredible! (Anyone who has watched it with me has listened to me go crazy and start explaining everything). But seriously, in this video, this is what our body really looks like on some insanely small level. How cool is that? And the music alone makes it worth it, even if that's all you pay attention to. I just think it's so cool we can know exactly what these cells or systems look like on a molecular level....and that probably means I'm just a real big nerd, but it's exciting. Guess I'm going into the right profession.

I admire the people who can fall asleep on the benches (or anywhere) in the buildings...I don't think I'd ever be tired enough to do that. I'd be too afraid that someone would spit on me or sit on me or something...I'm probably a little too paranoid and/or self-conscious. But it's a huge risk! I mean, especially if it's on the floor (which cannot be comfortable enough for the sleep you get...) people can step on you or trip on you...and who knows what I look like when I sleep, I don't want 1000 kids seeing that as they walk to class. Continuing on, people who sleep anywhere on campus. Like outside? What if it started raining or someone just like takes all your stuff or trips over you and.....yep...I'm glad I live close enough so that if I absolutely needed a twenty nap it isn't really hard to get one. Or I will just fall asleep in class, which has really happened a couple times. Eh, who hasn't done that? (Only for a couple minutes though)


Take Cover

Here is a story I forgot to tell a week or so ago..

On a day not unlike today (forgive me, I cannot remember what day...probably a Friday, but these snowy days kind of blur together...) I was walking back from class, having successfully, for the most part, avoided the slush puddles, and surprisingly had rather dry pants. (One of my....things....I have to have my pants touching the floor or very very close. This makes for very wet pants sometimes). I was rather proud, and was going to cross the two streets to my house, go shopping, and probably grab a nap before I headed to my next class. There I was, minding my own business, crossing the street, when this guy comes RUNNING up the sidewalk. Running like he'd be in a lot of trouble if he DID NOT get across the street before the light turned green. Well, I didn't really care that he was running to cross the street, nay, I did not care UNTIL he runs of the curb and lands with all his momentum in a HUGE slush puddle and, yes, you would guess correctly, that he SPLATTERS me and my pants with the nasty muck.

Okay, I exaggerate. I wasn't covered, but my pants had big splotches of slush all over.

Needless to say, I was ticked. Who does that? If you are going to be running around, the least you could do is be considerate of the people around you that you are affecting. Meh. He must have been late or almost late and decided that by running at super top speed he'd make it in time. I would guess not, but whatever. Rude.


Anyways, I have pink milk today. Thanks Kristen. What a holiday lover.

Valentine's Delay

I quail hunt too. In case you wanted to know. I will also run under Blair for VP someday. (It's a new goal)

Yesterday my aerobic teacher was like "everyone wear pink and red and we'll work out to valentine music on Thursday!" (like, oh my gosh.) I'm excited. It'll be really cool.

Wait, did I say cool? I meant stupid.


Exo-politics

I haven't decided what to really write about tonight, and I feel pressured that I must write something worthwhile, since my mom called and said she was giving it to all her friends (I'm flattered, really). But as I do not wish to make my parents look bad, I will pay a tribute to them. I would highly recommend you read this article:

I am highly influenced, but do not blindly follow, my parents political views.

I shall lure you into the article now:

"If Hillary is elected president, we'll have a four-year disaster, with Republicans ferociously opposing her, followed by Republicans zooming back into power, as we did in 1980 and 1994, and 2000....If McCain is elected president, we'll have a four-year disaster, with the Republicans in Congress co-opted by "our" president, followed by 30 years of Democratic rule...."

I believe this also sums it up:


WRITE IN: Mitt Romney...because I doubt I could be persuaded to vote for any of the idiots running...although I do agree that the better of the two horrific options is to have a democratic president and have a fantastic congress....with the exception that I don't think McCain will pull out of Iraq. Not that he has a plan. Jeez.

I feel incredibly and strangely vindicated knowing that on Super Tuesday great men (and women) like Sean Hannity, Rush, Glenn Beck, and I'd assume Ann Coulter and others....were rooting for Mitt Romney, Mormon beliefs and all.

P.S. I must update my list of obsure talents: I can find good seats in a movie theatre, I can enlarge things on a copier (harder than it sounds, I assure you), and I am a fast texter (I don't even have to look).

The Doors

I refuse to let this intrument called the guitar conquer me. And so far, I'm slowly but surely winning. I can play the picking park with the music...and now I just have to learn to strumming pattern. Whooo!

Here's the deal: why, when a building has four doors leading inside or outside must we all go out the same door? We complain when a building has only one door, but when it has more, we only use the one anyways! It's like a big line of sheep, and not one person can deviate and use another door, almost like you'd be judged for leaving the line! And I know, it's probably just as fast to wait til it's your turn opposed to stepping out and opening the door yourself. But it is ridiculous! It doesn't help that the store has a bunch of flier holders in the middle of the entryway, so that one wanting to use their own door, heaven forbid, can't fit with their backpack on.

Today was "food day" at work, which was sort of weird. I did, however, eat my body weight in mike & ikes, so thank you to whoever that was. I guess the whole reason for "food day" is for Fred to bring his salsa, which is, by the way, delicious (not as good as dad's, but close!). So most of us are standing there eating, and I turn and there is a customer but no one at the desk. I walk over there with hopefully an apologetic look towards this guy who has his arms up like "what!?" and bursts out "are you following me everywhere?" I arrange my face in a quizzical look....for I am puzzled. Should I recognize this guy? Have we previously met? Then he looks quite embarrased and mumbles that I sort of look like this girl in a dance class he took and anyways...it could have potentially been a really awkward situation. Thank goodness we both were pretty outgoing and I was like "psh...of course I'm following you!" He's like "yeah, we go way way back!" Then we go on about how he has a friend at the copy center who can be like "yeah, I can DO that, I know everything about this place", and of course I can hook him UP. Then I bind his packet and I ring him up and he thanks me profusely, and since he knew my name I asked him his...and hopefully he works somewhere that would be useful and if I ever go there I can get the favor returned. How potentially embarrasing, but quite entertaining.



> I do not like people, who when you ask what kind of covers they want, say I don't know. Well, sorry, buddy, I don't know either. It's not exactly life or death, so just pick a cover cause I don't really care, nor do I want to choose one for you. (same with any kind of paper, lamination, etc.)


> Only people from Utah say "oh my heck", can walk on the snow, and think that 40 degrees is warm. Just ask Noah or Kristen.



>I made a broccoli salad. I have never made so many complex (not as in hard, but as in...more ingredients than say pasta, ramen, or cup of noodles) dinners in my entire life than I have in the last two weeks. I'm on a roll. I think it was Kristen's magazine she got. I actually enjoy it.

One Life Down

The guitar is a very complicated instrument. I can not get over how hard the notes are for me to read. It's like sideways, then you have to process the fret and the string, and arrange your fingers accordingly. How does John Mayer do it? How does anyone? How are they not looking down at their fingers with their tongue sticking out their mouth intensely trying to figure this out?!

I could just be incompetent, but that is the conclusion I've come to. Then again, I know that most things take practice. And practice I will until I can play one freaking song, at least.

In another life, this is what'd I would be:
1. a dancer
2. a musician (the piano, cello, perhaps guitar.) (I'm working on this one)
3. a singer
4. a lawyer
5. an interior designer
6. really good at a sport (even though I sort of don't like women athletes...)
7. an ice skater
8. a foreign exchange student
9. a girl with british accent
10. a doctor

It's kind of sad to think of all the things you'll never get to do, places you won't see in your life...and all the talents you could have had had you had the money or time or the patience.Or if you lived in another state, in another neighborhood, went to another school. Maybe I shouldn't have quit ballet when I was six, the piano lessons when I was twelve, the violin after a year...I should have tried something new...and it's like while I'm content with my life, it's always fun when you're dancing with someone or getting to know someone...

"Do you play any sports?" no. "Do you play anything?" not really. "What do you like to do?"....um I like to bind things and copy packets. I found this to be my calling in life. I also like to listen to music. I can't really play it, but I can appreciate it. I can read really fast. I type reasonably fast. I can quote certain movies. I can...organize things....Whoo!! I mean, what kind of talents are these?!

It's not fair to realize there will always be someone prettier, funnier, smarter, more talented, more graceful, more ______ than you. However, it's only really about making yourself happy. But what happens when you have dreams and goals you refuse to give up, but life refuses to give them to you? Must you resign yourself to the fact that this is the life you were given for a reason...and you couldn't have done it while being good at something else? It is all so intricate...

I guess it's like this....there is always a bigger picture than you see. So all you can really do is live every day...

My Wish


If I had three wishes from a genie, this is what I'd wish for:

1. To hold a panda bear. (I desperately want to...)

2. To go to Swizterland. (I've wanted to since I was in sixth grade and read Bloomability)

3. To live in Boston

4....own all the seasons of Scrubs...

Prison Food

Things that are ridiculously overpriced, by the way:

1. Cereal
2. Salad dressing
3. Chesse, of any sort (except string cheese)
4. Fruit (at the Creamery, at least)
5. Chicken

Bright Eyes


A rather new desire to have glasses for the first time since sixth grade has come upon me, and that is why I found my self in the doctor's office today. I do not mind eye appointments...but I can't help but think of Brian Regan's comedy on it...."which one is better number one or number two?" "Number one, no two...one...wait...can I see them again?" (for the full effect, watch the dvd, I don't do it justice). Apparently though, they want you to memorize your prescription cause it's your job to know these things...(psh...)...all I could do was give the numbers I am pretty sure are right...and hope that I don't get some ridiculous numbers for my new contact prescription.

After the basic eye exam, we got the.....DIALATION DROPS! Which sting, by the way, like nothing else. (That's a lie..they aren't too bad) I have been told by all of my eye doctors I am good at taking drops....(which is useful for when I need to appear not high....right?) So I have no contacts in and I can't focus....and that made for a fun fifteen minutes. They also put numbing drops in my eyes so they could check the pressure. THAT is the ODDEST feeling EVER. Then we went to another room where another doctor came in ( I can't remember who was the opthamologist and which was the optomistrist) and started talking to me about my contacts. Now of course he wasn't trying to sell a certain brand, of course not....but he started talking about the Acuvue Oasys (that is not a spelling error) and the way he was explaining them, when I put my free trial pair in, I can reasonably expect fireworks and singing of heavenly hosts. But, if I don't see a difference (as he shakes his head in disbelief) I can continue with my normal, somewhat mediocre Acuvue 2. (Oasys gets FIVE TIMES MORE OXYGEN to your retinas) (duh.)

So good news, I have real healthy eyes and whatnot, and in a week or so I'll have some really sexy glasses. Today is Tuesday, however, so of course I must do my shopping because Tuesday and Friday mornings are the only, and I mean ONLY time you can find whatever you what (with in reason, of course) at the Creamery. That is when they are restocking, and that is when I all but clear out their vanilla thick and creamy yogurt (who knew it was so popular?) and buy produce because if you go other than these foramentioned times, good luck getting a slice of bread. Point? Well I have abnormally large pupils at the moment (and aside from not being able to focus...), as result it is very, very bright to me outside (the sun in out though)...and so I must wear sunglasses to the Creamery. And we all know that normal people do not wear sunglasses out and about in the winter. So I felt quite self conscious, almost wanting to wear a sign that says Icannotlookintothesun....it burns!!

Now I have my yogurt and new contact case (I absolutely love new contact cases and new solution...(and trial pairs, for that matter) (especially when they are free)) I also had to mumble and cringe when he (the contact brand pitcher) asked me what I did with my contacts right before bed....as he looks down with a knowing smile as I mumble that I put them right in the case. Well, so do 80% of contact solution buyers ("it says no rub!") Ah yes, young child, but not "no clean".

So I, Amanda Marie, pledge (especially once I get glasses) to rinse my contacts every night.

my abnormally large pupils...
my really cool sun glasses that attach at the temples. No, I didn't wear these to the Creamery. I would have attracted far too many males to be practical.


Covered In Snow

Being from Utah I feel a little embarrassed telling stories of me being stuck in the snow; people from outside of Utah hate Utah drivers, and assume they (the Utah drivers) know everything about driving in the snow...even to the point where they think we are over confident. Near death experiences of my sister and me would prove otherwise. We're just like anyone else trying not to crash into something (or someone) else. Together, along with our '88 Ford Ranger, this winter we have managed to get stuck twice trying to get into the drive way (I will claim that), come very close to hitting a fence and another car, and having a total of seven people help us at one point or another out of our current situation (Thank you neighbors and ward members).

However, I must remind you that I've driven once this current year in the bad snow, so it either counts against or for me that my part of our stuck-ness has happened all in one day. I do remember those blasted days driving to school where you can't see out the windows except a small bubble where the defroster has began to work. All the while, praying you aren't going to hit some pedestrian or another car as you turn, completely blind.

We have come to this incredible conclusion:

We do not like the snow, contrary to what you outsiders think about us Utahns. While we may have the best snow on earth (we wouldn't know, however, having never been skiing, snowboarding, and only on Saturday could I cross of snowshoeing off the list). We have, however, been sledding a few times, and that should count for some thorough knowledge of this snow that the people from outside claim to hate so passionately, so completely, and so independently. We too think it is freaking cold. We too wish we were on a beach somewhere with the sun frying our skin. Our snow may be appreciated only when one is dressed very warmly, with friends, perhaps snuggling, inside watching it snow....or I assume it is nice when you're actually in it, like with skiing or snowboarding. (NOTE: walking to or from school, driving in the snow, being stuck in the snow, or slipping because of the cold does NOT constitue how to enjoy snow).

More things that I love:
1. The feeling of the sun burning your skin (but not getting sun burned)
2. Doing free laundry
3. Acoustic music
4. Listening to my sister spout of details of BYU basketball players' personal lives (I think it's creepy, actually)
5. THAT MY ROOMMATE MADE CALL BACKS FOR "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE" !!!