One Life Down

The guitar is a very complicated instrument. I can not get over how hard the notes are for me to read. It's like sideways, then you have to process the fret and the string, and arrange your fingers accordingly. How does John Mayer do it? How does anyone? How are they not looking down at their fingers with their tongue sticking out their mouth intensely trying to figure this out?!

I could just be incompetent, but that is the conclusion I've come to. Then again, I know that most things take practice. And practice I will until I can play one freaking song, at least.

In another life, this is what'd I would be:
1. a dancer
2. a musician (the piano, cello, perhaps guitar.) (I'm working on this one)
3. a singer
4. a lawyer
5. an interior designer
6. really good at a sport (even though I sort of don't like women athletes...)
7. an ice skater
8. a foreign exchange student
9. a girl with british accent
10. a doctor

It's kind of sad to think of all the things you'll never get to do, places you won't see in your life...and all the talents you could have had had you had the money or time or the patience.Or if you lived in another state, in another neighborhood, went to another school. Maybe I shouldn't have quit ballet when I was six, the piano lessons when I was twelve, the violin after a year...I should have tried something new...and it's like while I'm content with my life, it's always fun when you're dancing with someone or getting to know someone...

"Do you play any sports?" no. "Do you play anything?" not really. "What do you like to do?" I like to bind things and copy packets. I found this to be my calling in life. I also like to listen to music. I can't really play it, but I can appreciate it. I can read really fast. I type reasonably fast. I can quote certain movies. I can...organize things....Whoo!! I mean, what kind of talents are these?!

It's not fair to realize there will always be someone prettier, funnier, smarter, more talented, more graceful, more ______ than you. However, it's only really about making yourself happy. But what happens when you have dreams and goals you refuse to give up, but life refuses to give them to you? Must you resign yourself to the fact that this is the life you were given for a reason...and you couldn't have done it while being good at something else? It is all so intricate...

I guess it's like this....there is always a bigger picture than you see. So all you can really do is live every day...


Janet Thwaits said...

This is my second attempt at leaving a comment.....the first one was amazing!!!! I can't wait to see your new glasses and did you know grandpa has been yearning to play the guitar for years. He has a really nice $$$$$ one, so maybe you two could play together sometime!!! I have a blog but haven't written in it since last August!!! Maybe I will try again.
I've often wondered what I should be when I grow up, but grandma is fine with me!! I love you dear heart. God bless. Grandma Rick

Anonymous said...

You left out something you are really good at....writing. Yes, I was very impressed with you writing “Blog” so much so that I thought I was reading an editorial in the news paper.

Keep up the good work!