Over Thinking.

Do I just want this because I can't think of anything else? Or is what I think will help me make the most difference? Will it open the most doors and help me feel at peace? Can I actually do it? Am I qualified...and would I be good at it? Am I smart enough, strong enough, fast enough, and hard working enough? Am I competent, confident and compassionate? Will I be able to make it? Will I have some help from above or am I doing this blindly? What the heck am I so worried for? Have I worked hard enough? Have I given enough or not nearly enough? Could I look him in the eye and tell him I am essential? Have I wasted away too much time? Do I deserve this? Do I have a back up plan? Can I say that I really want this and that I need it? Is this IT?! Is this what I am meant to do? Called to do? Prepared to do? Is this something I can do, and do well? Do I know what I'm getting into? Is this settling? Have I given up other dreams enough to actually get something I want?

Or am I making this all up?

Welcome to my thoughts. It will be a long ride.

2 comments:

Katya said...

ahmen sista! It's so hard to decide what you really, really want or if it's just what you think you want because you don't know about this other thing that would make you happier..meh...

Dave said...

Hey, wow. You over think things too? It's a curse I tell you. I've got it too. And for the record, you're not settling. I don't believe you would do that.