on waiting and wishing.



Today I didn't shower until 1 o'clock. And I know that my mom is cringing as she reads this, but that happens when you work at home.

It also happens when you had a decent night of sleep for the first time in three days.

It also happens when you spend the morning wondering what life will be like when it's Life After Wymount and College and Constantly Wondering.

I feel like the entire year of 2011 is in my way. I look out into the vast emptiness of the year...through May and July and September...days where we work and go to school and are still dreaming and have no big plans....and wonder when December will finally get here and maybe we will have somewhere to go and something more to do.

Don't get me wrong...we are happy marrieds and having fun being grad students and graduated and have little to worry about and pay for...and I know that we'll look back and laugh about how we couldn't wait to be real grown-ups and remember when our tax return practically doubled our bank account?

but we feel stuck because we know we have bigger things ahead of us and we aren't there yet.

We're stuck in a perpetual plan-to-make-a-plan cycle.

but agh. shake it off. We're the proud owners of one TB of pure, unadulterated space that is all ours, which is pretty awesome. (if you don't know what a TB is...it's like the King Kong of ice cream cones, man.)

And soon (we hope) to cash in our Christmas money and be the owners of something that will make us forget our plans to make plans because we'll be too busy dueling, bowling, kung fu-ing and racing to worry about such things.

4 comments:

Shanna Selin said...

I didn't shower until 2. But that's what happens when you can only shower during naps.

Lafayette said...

I think working at home sounds fabulous! I can totally relate to the rest of it! We may not be in Provo anymore, but we still feel like we're just planning and waiting perpetually. Let just skip 2011. You with me?

Karen said...

I've definitely been stuck in that stage before, kind of right now in fact. We still don't know exactly when we have to be in Ohio or exactly how that will all work out and I'm SO anxious to make plans of when I can quit my job, when we can go, how we're going to get there and everything else.

Janet Thwaits said...

I remember those times and wish I had more of them. But I do know what you mean. I can't wait until October on one hand but then again hate for it to get here because Preston will then be 17......it's such a trade off time is....there's always a trade. Let today's sunshine warm your heart!! I love you Grandma Rick.......