on quitting my job for no real reason.

So I am quitting my job at the end of march. It look a lot of thought to get to this point, and I'm sure most people think it's a bad decision, but I don't really care. 

I had plans to quit around that time because we were moving and we were going to have a baby and I didn't really want to work after that. Now, we are still moving, but since I work from home, it was still an option to work. But I just had this deadline in my head and I could not get over it. The thought of working past it made me crazy. 

side note: some of you may think "wow, you work from home? and you're quitting? what the what?".  working from home is not for everyone, let me just say. I do not like it. I, of course, have become used to the flexibility and laziness it allows me, but I would give that up for a cubicle in an instant. It was nice for the first...month...and then I look back and 2011 and feel I almost wasted the whole year by sitting on the couch/at the table.

So I thought a lot about it and prayed and thought some more and talked about options. I thought a lot about how I hate making hard decisions without a clear answer, because I feel that I never really get clear answers. 

Not that I've had to make that many hard decisions in my life. Picking my college was pretty easy: I only applied to one and I got in. Marrying Dave was easy. I knew I wanted to from like day 3 and never thought otherwise. (ha). Picking a major was a lot harder with more setbacks and you know, sometimes I still feel like I could have made other decisions. But sometimes that is how it goes...there wasn't one answer so it didn't matter anyway. 

This decision, however, felt a lot more difficult. Mostly because I didn't have anything to go to. I just can't work here anymore. (and I'm not leaving with any animosity or anything...I won't miss the work but I will definitely miss my coworkers!)

What it came down to is I had this overwhelming feeling that there was more for me out there. Something better. And that was it.

I thought of a few scenarios but it always came back to that thought: there is something better. And yes, sure, ok. Noted. 

But I want to know what that is. 

And then Dave and I talked about faith and leaps of faith and how that probably was my answer: there is something else. And so on my part, I am taking steps to get to that point. Quitting my job with nothing else lined up. I don't even know where we are moving. 

And I could be totally crazy. Maybe something better just means something different. Maybe it means no work. Maybe I made it all up, but it isn't a wrong decision, so it just doesn't matter.

But I think there something more and I am lucky that I am able to say that this doesn't make me happy, so I am not going to do it anymore. And we shall see what happens. I wish that I knew everything. (you'd think I would have given up on that by now)

I feel a need to start over, so to speak. new place, new job, new plans. So here we go: 4 more weeks until I am happily unemployed for a little while.

p.s. there are definitely real reasons I am quitting. this isn't totally based on a whim. 


Morgan and Holly said...

I totally understand that working from home isn't all that it is cracked up to be. I'm much happier going to the office everyday than I was when I was sitting at home on the computer procrastinating and then stressing about getting work done. haha. Just remember, it will all work out!

Katya said...

Good for you! I don't think you're crazy. Life is only so long, and you should do things you love. You'll have to let me know when you find out what your something better is. :)

kt said...

You have my support 500%! I think it's great! Congratulations!!!!

Emily said...

I'm totally with you on doing what you love. Even now, I have maternity leave, but I love knowing that when the time comes to go back/stay home/become a fitness instructor?/work on my photography business? there are options. I'm all about options. And I'm so excited for your exciting March. March madness all the way!

Kristen said...

Change is good. I'm glad you're doing what makes you happy. Hurray for 4 more weeks of work!!

Wendy said...

Yay! We can spend every day at 7 Peaks this summer! ;) Way to go Amanda!

Jason said...

I really like the quote. I agree sometimes you just need a change.