etc.

We made it to portland! We had a fun weekend with Dave's family for his sister's wedding...then Dave flew back to utah today. Which means I start officially apartment hunting tomorrow. That means we are in the final stages before our new live starts, which is crazy.

Monday was my first day of unemployment but the days before we left were super busy, I didn't really notice that except it was nice not to have to check in or worry about it. Then we drove forrrrever to portland and got in really late and then the next day we were running errands and working on thesis and baking cakes and such.

Then I realized later that day that I kind of feel like I have nothing I am tied to. I have no job, no school, no house, and very vague future (at least for the next week). And well, if you really want to get into it, no baby either. It's kind of depressing. I just feel like I'm floating. But of course, in two weeks we should be settled and have a few more things figured out. I'm hoping we'll know by this week where we're living, even if we can't move there for another week or so. Then I can just not worry about it...maybe I'll just explore downtown portland, which scares me a little bit! I mean, I walked and worked in downtown DC by myself just fine and I loved it. I guess it's just that portland is so unfamiliar and everything changing all at once is a little scary to me.

Sometimes, even though things are better, I'm not sure what is holding me together. And then I realize that it's the love from the Savior and the hope of eternal and better things. And Easter, though surrounded by a crazy time for us, was a time for me to reflect on how, more than I ever thought, I am grateful for our Savior and for His atonement and resurrection because, not only do I feel like that is what is holding my life together now, it's holding my life together for eternity. I feel His love and peace and I am so grateful for it. I have felt the power of the atonement cleanse my soul of despair, bitterness and sorrow. And even when it is still sad, I still know that I will be okay because I can alway receive that peace and love. And I know we all can!

Happy Easter!  

4 comments:

Katya said...

Yay Portland! Good luck on the apartment hunting! I think exploring downtown Portland is an excellent idea. Spend lots of time at Powell's for me.

Kara Lyn said...

You will love Portland. It is such a beautiful place and you are so close to the coast which is amazing. You drove through my hometown, Pendleton, on your way there. Good luck with finding a place to live and for Dave's work. I miss you my dear friend. Thanks for always being amazing.

Emily said...

Agh, I left a comment and then x'ed out of the box.

I definitely felt the floating-ness when we moved here, and we were lucky enough to have an apt. lined up! I think having family close by will help the transition though..I'm not jealous at all. :) Call me whenever if you want to talk and I'm *SO* excited for your new portland adventures!

Jo said...

I like you. That is all. Good luck with everything!