2012 wasn't all bad, though. Amid the grief and loneliness and floundering, we found ourselves with a great job for Dave and a perfect apartment. I feel like I just struggled to catch up; I planned out a few things and ended up having to give them up because of being on "rest" and then "bigger rest" and it all just fizzled out...whatever motivation or effort I offered to life just seemed to fall flat.
Last night we went over our goals and set new ones for 2013 and I quickly searched for a talk on goals and found this talk by Elder Holland. And I can't help but feel that it was no accident we read this. I felt like (as I'm sure we all do?) he was speaking right to me:
"as a new year begins and we try to benefit from a proper view of what has gone before, I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone...We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed towards the future...
...to be tied to earlier mistakes is the worst kind of wallowing in the past from which we are called to cease and desist...
...we are guilty of the greater sin if we keep remembering and recalling and rehashing someone with his or her earlier mistakes--and that someone might be ourselves. We can be so hard on ourselves--often much more than on others!
this is an important matter to consider at the start of a new year--and everyday ought to be the start of a new year and and new life. Such is the wonder of faith, repentance, and the miracle of the gospel of Jesus Christ." [bold emphasis mine]
So I am done worrying about what I did or didn't do last year. Often, circumstances permitting, I did the best I could and if I didn't, well, I've regretted and repented and that is that.
I look forward to 2013 as a year for progress and accomplishment. I take with me what I've learned over the past few years (which I suppose is still progress, but not what I am looking for) and I am so very excited to have a new year. One that doesn't feel like it's just in my way. It's a year for me and I am going to give it everything I have and I am going to come out on top. I refuse let it be otherwise.
And now, in pictures:
pinned (by the way, did you see this movie? (we bought a zoo) it was fantastic.)