on opinions and the word should.

The thoughts for this post surfaced around 4:00 am, so hopefully it turns out as good as it started in my head. Yesterday I finished a sewing project and I showed Dave and asked if he liked it. He, predictably, was like "sure. it's a skirt. how do you have opinions on so many things?" And I think that is a good question.

I'm wanting to make a quilt for sam. I was going to before he was born and the decided not to...and then saw this one and decided to make one. I'm in the process of decided the colors to use (black, white, striped and three shades of blue/teal). I'm looking online and have spent three days going back and forth because I can't find colors that are ombre-ish enough or blah blah blah. I can find the darker shade and lighter shade but not a good middle one. I probably need to go into a store but thought I would try online first.

I have also asked Dave his opinion on the colors which I knew was laughable. I've mentioned before that Dave cares about almost nothing that isn't alive, so I don't know why I try to wrangle opinions out of him. I've also written before about my indecisiveness, and last night I was thinking about where that came from. Why is it so hard to pick three colors (or even decide on a final color scheme?) It's not the last quilt I'll make (or maybe it is, I don't know if I like quilting yet). It's certainly not the last yard of fabric I will buy nor the last of anything.

I think back to my childhood/adolescence and I honestly can't remember being so indecisive. Maybe I just didn't have to decide that much. Sure, there were a few hard decisions but day to day, I guess not much worth noting. Then I went to college and got married and it's like...where did all these opinions come from?

I often ask Dave "what should I do/make/buy/wear..." and he always tells me I shouldn't do anything, meaning it isn't important enough to be a should. But I can't think of a way to phrase my questions with language that isn't implying it's important (because yes, it's usually not that important).

And I don't mean to sound like Dave is a robot who never is interested in anything. When it really counts, he is a great sounding board and decision-maker helper (?). But I usually ruin it by over-thinking. Ah, there is the problem. I became this over-thinker who often can't make a simple, non-binding and not-the-end-of-the-world decision without help.

I was thinking last night that it's probably in part because of the internet. I mean, we see so many things that we want and can use. (hello, pinterest) I mean, I'm looking up on google if there is a best kind of cotton brand for quilting, although I have to say the results were not helpful. But reviews exist for everything and I, at least, usually base some purchases on reviews. And even when they have 4/5 stars, I'm wondering if I will get the dud of a product that produced the 2 star review. I've kind of become dependent on deciding some things based on what other people think.

Last week I went to a fabric store to look for a striped fabric for this quilt. I saw one that immediately caught my eye, but continued to browse the store (I want all the fabric). But I did end up getting that first fabric I liked. I continue to find that my gut decisions are what I should do or should have done in the first place (and there is that should again, implying importance.). Maybe ought is the word I should use? What ought I to do/make/buy/wear...? Or maybe it should just be "I want to do/make/buy/wear..." and that is that?

What do you think? Are you an over-thinker or are you really good at deciding things?


characa&gregsimplelife said...

I'm definitely an over thinker for sure. Most of the time, I hate it, because I over think and in all honestly come up with situations or ideas that truly aren't possible or realistic and it affects everything

Jody Lynn said...

I tend to be indecisive in certain situations. In fact, I'm going to write a blog post on that just as soon as I feel like it. Ha.

Shanna Selin said...

I think it might be a girl thing. Evan doesn't care about most stuff that I spend hours deciding on. Kinda frustrating when I want to talk to him about it and he is totally bored, but nice when I get to end up making the final decision. For example, I'll probably get to choose our house since he doesn't care that much.

Lacey Parr said...

I think it's a plague of our generation. Too many choices! I have the same problem. Sometimes I just give up on picking something I want to buy because the effort to go through the choices is exhausting. That sounds a little bratty, and maybe I'm exaggerating. But we worry that the thing we buy will end up being slightly worse than something else. In the end, they probably weren't much different anyway. Insightful post amanda!

Emily said...

Love this post. My 4 am thoughts were never this good :) I think I'm somewhere in the middle over-all. Or really, you'd think I never really thought long and hard about stuff because most of the time when I pine over an issue or item or whatev it goes on the back burner and it's like all that "hard work" never happened. Speaking of sewig though, I really should get to getting on some summer projects. Thanks for the reminder!

Karen said...

I didn't realize how indecisive I was until it came to decisions about our house, because those really are things that can't be easily changed and I really will only have one house for quite a while, maybe forever... but it did make me realize I'm pretty indecisive about many things, maybe it is just a woman thing because we think too much... which is good and bad.